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Frankie069's Journal



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10 entries this month
 

The first time we meet...

23:23 Dec 30 2005
Times Read: 532


I want to meet you at the airport and see you for the first time, knowing how badly I want you.. I want the tension to be so strong that neither of us can stand it much longer. I want you to hold me and kiss me and feel your tongue reaching around in my mouth, all the while knowing where else that tongue will be when we get to our destination.

As we arrive at the hotel, into our room, I want to take you, but slowly, I want to kiss you, lick your mouth, fuck your mouth with my tongue, lick your mouth like I want to be licked.. Like your mouth was a pussy. I take your shirt off and suck on your nipples, biting them so gently as I hear you moaning..I know you like it... The pain of it, I can hear it inside you, I bite them harder as I then reach down and feel your cock getting so hard inside of your pants. I work my way down, licking your stomach as I go, down, down more.. I undo your pants... You are so hard and it turns me on immensly. I remove your pants and sit you on the bed. I kneel in front of you, honoring you, worshiping you. I am where I belong right now, down on my knees in front of you. First I start teasing you, just kissing your thighs and licking just near, just close enough to your hardness that you want me there now.. But no, its not time yet. I want to play more, I want you to want me more.. I gently take your balls into my mouth... Sucking on them, licking them, carressing them and just holding them there in my mouth, knowing the power I actually have over you at that moment.. I then willingly take your hardness into my mouth, slowly at first, I want to lick up and down your shaft, savoring every inch of you.. I want to nibble on you a little bit, yes you are afraid at first, but you feel my teeth just gliding across you, you moan and want me to take you all the way into my mouth, you want to feel the back of my throat reaching for your head. I take you all in, every inch of you and begin my feast. The feast that I have waited so long for.. The feast which I have dreamed of... I begin sucking on you, eating you.. Licking you, changing what I do each time you feel as though you are going to cum.. I wont let you cum.. I want to feast somemore.. When I am ready for you to cum, then you will.. I begin to feel your cock pulsate and I know that time is near for you.. I keep the head of your cock in my mouth knowing at any moment, you are going to enter me.. I am going to be swallowing a part of you.. I will forever have a part of you in me... You finally explode in my mouth and the taste of you, the taste of you is unreal.. I savor every drop as you come on my tongue.. I taste you, I want more.. I keep you in my mouth till I have taken every drop of you in me... Now we are one....



After I have taken you. You hold my hands and slowly pick me off my knee's. I stand up before you and you kiss me softly. You take my hips into your strong hands and pull me closer to you. With your mouth start teasing me down there. Kissing along my stomach, then going down slowly. You stand up and lay me onto the bed. I am already wet in anticipation. I want you so badly that I am shaking with excitment. You part my legs and lick ever so gently. All around you are licking me and teasing me, not willing yet to give in to what it is I desire. You are kissing my inner thighs, Licking just around my lips.. I can no longer take it.. I gently take your hair in my hands and lead you to where I want you to be. I feel your tongue enter me and I moan with pleasure. I need you so badly. You start to lick my clit, gently, up and down, then in a circular motion. I need you to put your fingers inside of me. I need to feel you licking me and fucking me at the same time. As your finger enters me, I know its almost time. I start to quiver as I think about cumming in your mouth. I want to, I want you to taste me as I have tasted you. I am cumming I tell you, Oh God, I cant stand the pleasure of this.. I begin to cry as I reach orgasm. Every muscle in my body pulled tight, ever nerve fiber aware. Every sense stronger now. You wont let me go, you wont stop and it is driving me insane.. I cannot stop cumming and I need you inside of me.. I need to feel you there. I need to have your hardness enter me.. I cant wait any longer.



I reach once again for you hair, this time, not so gently. I pull you up upon me. I need to look into your eyes, I need to see what you feel. I need to know that you were as pleased as I was. As I am going to be. I need to see that you care. We kiss, its the perfect kiss. You and I mixing each other in our mouths. Exchanging each others cells, making them become one. I feel your hardness on my thigh. I reach down for it while our mouths are still connected. I hold you in my hand and begin to massage you. You are moaning with pleasure and I know that I need you inside of me. You lay atop of me and enter me. The feeling, the feeling of you inside of me is breath taking. You are taking my breath away. You start off slowly, moving inside and out of me. I can feel you swell even more. I want to cum with you but we both know there is more time. I am moaning at the pleasure you are giving me. Still making love to me slowly, you are building up anticipation. You begin to move faster.. I need you harder inside me.. I need to feel you deeper. I dont ever want this to end. I want you to stay one with me.. I want my pussy to eat you.. I want to take every bit of you inside of me. I want to stay being one with you. Still moving, still thrusting deep within me.. I need to cum.. I need to cum now, with you. I beg you, I call out your name, please, I need you harder. Harder I want you to cum with me.. I am begging you to let me cum, Please, I need to... You start moaning, it is happening between us. You can feel the inside of me start tightening, my muscles contracting, my back arching to reach you.. I can feel your pulsating hard cock inside of me ready to explode... With a cry, as I tear my fingers down your back and hold you into as tightly as I can, I finally cum, it feels as though it will never end. I have never had an orgasm like this and I need to take in every moment of this. As you cum with me with your own cry of pleasure, I know that we are one, I know that we are connected now forever. I have given myself to you and you have taken me. After we are through, you lie there, in my arms, still inside of me, still connected.. We just lie there listening to each others hearts beat.



~Frankie~ 2005


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The Darkness

19:09 Dec 30 2005
Times Read: 536


Do I welcome the darkness that envelopes and surrounds me. For it lets me not see.

The darkness which I now spend most if my time. Waiting for a day where I can awake and find Peace once again. Peace within my own heart, within my world.

The Dark, where I can not feel. I can feel no emotion. only aloneness and pain.

I can strive for nothing because I cannot get away.

The Dark which traps me and holds me close. Like it is my lover.

A lover that follows me wherever I go. A jealous lover, its competition being happiness.

Happiness, will I ever feel its arms around me. Will I feel it touch my soul once again.

Will I ever feel happiness love me again. Or shall the darkness keep me forever. Locked away as a prisoner with

no key to escape.



~Frankie~ 2005

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I did..

16:48 Dec 28 2005
Times Read: 539


Yes, I did want him, and I knew he wanted me but we were both married even though unhappily. That is why, when my husband left for a week to prepare us for our move in another state, he decided to leave me in the care with his best friend.

Joe and I had always had an attraction for each other, but it was one we kept private. A glancing smile, a devious grin and occassionaly a touch when nobody was looking.

This particular day, I was alone in the house, the kids were in school and I was packing. The doorbell rang. I opened the door and there was Joey. Instantly both of could feel that awkward feeling. We realized that we were never alone before. There was a silence as he walked into the house and turned towards me. "Your husband told me I was to take care of you while he was gone," he said to me. I couldnt help but smile, knowing what he meant. Joey walks over to me and we kiss. It was the furthest we had ever gone with each other, but I knew today would be different. It was a passionetely hard kiss. We stood in the living room for what seemed like an eternity, just touching, and grabbing and teasing each other. I grabbed at his pants, taking off his belt, then down on my knee's I proceeded to undo his pants with my teeth. I knew Joey liked it rough, I was after all a friend of his wife and we would talk. She gave me all the information I needed. I tugged his pants down and was amazed at the size of his hard cock. It took him into my mouth and began to work on him: biting him, sucking him with all the power I had.

He reached down and grabbed my head, he then began to fuck my mouth, not letting me go, until he finally exploded. Shooting his cum, deep into the back of my throat.

As I stood up, he began to tear my clothes off. I was wet with anticipation. That huge, hard cock inside of me was all I could think about. Joey picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. He was strong and as soon as he placed me on the bed, he straddled me, holding my hands above my head so I could not move. He was going to take me no matter what and I wanted him to. He began kissing me, pressing against my mouth so hard I could taste the slight flavor of blood. It only made me more excited. He began kissing my neck, biting me as he began to work his way down to my breasts. He took my erect nipple into his mouth and bit me there, then moving to the other and back and forth. I was moaning with pleasure. I wanted him more. He knew I liked it just as rough as he did. He was biting me, sucking me, licking me everywhere. Finally he made his way down to my wet waiting pussy. I was dripping for him, feeling it run down my thighs as he began to lick it up. His tongue entered me, in and out, fucking me, licking deep inside of me. He began playing with my clit with his enormous fingers. First flicking it, tapping it, teasing me all the way. I knew I was on the verge of cumming. I couldnt control myself. I began moaning and screaming letting him know it was time. He took his mouth and covered my pussy with it, allowing me to cum right in him. I could hear him moaning as he ate my juices.. The sound of him eating me was more than I could bare.

With a sudden move, Joey took me and turned me over onto my stomach. Pulling me up onto my knee's. He was going to enter me from behind. He wanted to be in control. I was to give in to his every desire. After all, he was to take care of me.. He took his rock hard cock and entered me. I moaned with the force of it, moaning as he thrust in and out with all his power. I could feel him so deep inside me. Once again, stopping, he turned me over again pulling me on top of him. I began to ride him, taking every inch of him. Riding him as he sucked and pulled on my breasts. I could feel myself ready to come again. I screamed to Joey to please let me cum. He told me not yet, it wasnt time.. He pushed me off of him and straddled me. Fucking me so hard and so fast I began to cry, with pleasure. I could feel it, feel him ready to cum. With a cry he came inside of me. I could feel his hot load fill my pussy as I then came with him.

We lay there for a while in each others sweat, trying to catch our breath. He then led me off the bed and into the bathroom. He turned on the shower for us as we both entered and held each other under the running water. I looked down and could see Joey getting hard again. As he smiled at me, I realized, he was going to make good on his promise to take care of me.. I had a feeling this was going to be a wonderful week..



Frankie 2005


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16:22 Dec 28 2005
Times Read: 540


Where were we..Oh right, in the bar. You asked me to meet you there. Yes, I was aware of my sexual tension, but I wasnt aware of yours. I dont even think that you were interested, but I was. I really wanted to have you.



I proceeded to have a few drinks while watching you the whole time. Watching the way you liked to play. How all the women fought over your attention. It made me a little jealous. But, tonite, I needed to have a taste of you. I had to think of something so you would come outside with me.



I said it was time for me to leave, so I asked you to walk me to my car. You walked me outside, opened my door for me. I invited you to just come in and sit for a while. Thought maybe we could talk without all the noise. I put the radio on nice a low while we sat and talked. I decided to go for it.



I reached down and put my hand on your thigh. I couldnt help but think you wanted me to touch you, but I was unsure. Our situation was sort of taboo. It wasnt a good one. I decided to slowly move my hand up higher. To my surprise, you were hard. I had to touch you, I just had to have you. I slowly unzipped your jeans, you didnt seem to be complaining at all. I took out your hardness and began playing with you. But you see, I wanted you in my mouth. I had to have you in my mouth, I needed to have you in my mouth. We all know that is my favorite thing to do.



You put your seat back and I proceeded to take you in my mouth. I wanted to explore every inch of you. It was so intense. I needed to lick you, to bite you, to suck you. I just needed to have you. I needed to fullfill that fantasy that I have had with you. After taking my time with you, just playing, I had to have you cum. To taste you. As you moaned and your body tensed, I was finally able to swallow you. My fantasy was fullfilled. But how long does that last. Because I want you again. I need you again..





~Frankie 2005~

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Always..

03:34 Dec 28 2005
Times Read: 544


I will do what I want with you.. It is my control. I hold the power.

I will take you, inch by inch, until i have taken it all.

I will swallow you whole, leaving nothing behind.

For that is how I need to feed.

That is what I need to feel.

That is what I need,to be one with you....

A delicate part of you inside of me always.


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I created it and I am to blame..

05:32 Dec 26 2005
Times Read: 551


I am alone. Alone forever. That is my destiny. The desires that cannot be fullfilled. That need that has awoken after so many years. I remembered. I was finally awake again. Yes, awake. I cried to be awake. Now, I just want to forget. It was asleep for a reason. I didnt want to know. Know that feeling once again. Those cravings once again. The pain once again. The pain that now only I alone can make. The pain that now only I can take.. My mind, a place that no others can enter for if they did, they would never understand. They would know that I dont belong. They could see my soul and know that it yearns for the one part of me, that one part to sleep again. Never to feel those urges and wants again. Never needing to feel that insatiable desire to feed again. I have no one to blame but myself. I have no one to blame but my wants. I knew how evil it was. I knew it would punish me, and it did. It gave me the wants and the desires and a way to fullfill them. Then it took them away. I was meant to suffer. Only I know why. I wanted those needs and the way. I knew that I would suffer for it but that didnt matter. I was alive. I was awake. I was getting what I needed and wanted. Anything I needed and wanted. When it was done with me the punishment began. It shall never end. How I want that part of me to sleep. But my mind still tells me I would do it again. I would accept that evil once more to feed. Only to be punished more. I need it to sleep. I need to forget what I once was. I need to forget what I once needed and craved. I will walk alone forever.





~Frankie~ 2005

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I cannot escape my dreams..

16:03 Dec 23 2005
Times Read: 558


Some very strange things have been happening to me lately. I dont know what this means or even if it means anything at all, but I would like to share anyway.



When I fall asleep, I can control my dreams. I can usually make my dreams be anything I want them to be. But for about 3-4 weeks now, I cannot get out of my dreams.



I will be dreaming about whatever and then, say for instance one of my kids tries to wake me up, well, I tell them OK I am coming, be right there, but I cant move because I cannot get out of the dream. It is like my dreams are holding me hostage. I know I am in the dream and I know that someone is talking to me and trying to wake me up, but I cannot be released. It is the strangest feeling. Its not a scary feeling, I am not afraid of the dream, its not like a nightmare.



How am I awake and asleep at the same time.. Because that is what it is to me..


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Feeding the Pain..

17:00 Dec 22 2005
Times Read: 561


External pain. Inner comfort.



The need to forget.



The need to be in another time and place.



Letting my mind go free.



Escaping.



Escaping the reality of me.



Inhale it. Swallow it.



Take me over.



Become another being, let your fears go.



No more inhibitions.



Nothing but comfort and laughter.



The mind, being all seeing and all knowing.



Aware of everything.



Seeing things others cannot see, feeling things others cannot feel.



Forgetting, for just a little while.



Seeing, feeling the inner beauty.



Wishing you could feel like that forever. Feeling that release.



Knowing for the moment, that you can make that feeling stay.



Knowing eventually you will have to return.



Knowing what you want out of life and how to get it.



But in reality you cannot face the challenge.



Allowing yourself to dream. To be taken away. Only to return again.



Return again to the empty spaces that surround you.



Only having to feed that desire to return to your dreams once again.








~Frankie 2005~

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Mine Forever

16:57 Dec 22 2005
Times Read: 562


You want to live inside of me. You want to be within me every waking moment. Feeling what it is like to be me, inside of me. Mine to play with, to love, to torture. Mine to do what I please.

But if you are forever inside of me, how do we play, how do we experience each other from the outside. Can I remove you when I want you, when I need you. Must I use you before I begin to swallow you. Never to feel you hold me again. Never to feel you touch me again, never to feel you make love to me again.

As I sit here thinking, what if we were able to make love from within. What if that feeling was always there and never went away. What if I knew that I could feel you all the time. Yes, I could swallow you then. I could take you then and make you mine. No one else could ever have you again, no one else could ever come close to you again. Am I doing this for selfish reasons. Yes.. Do I want there to be no one that can ever have you again. Yes... Do you want to feel what it is like to go down, down inside. To be held captive by me. Do you want that feeling as much as you make me want it. To be eaten alive.

Do you want to be mine forever.




~Frankie~ 2005

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The path I crossed long ago.

03:34 Dec 22 2005
Times Read: 564


I tell people this story and of course they do not understand. It happend about 23 years ago but I remember like it was yesterday. I was with my best friend and we still are, but we were walking down the railroad tracks to get to her house. The tracks had a slope on the side of them where of course you could move down if the train was coming. Well as we were walking, all of the sudden about 50 feet in front of us walks up this midget, yes midget, from the right side of the tracks. He was dressed in a black cloak and he just stood there, in the middle of the tracks looking at us both. He said nothing at all, but I knew he was male, we both did. He looked at us both and walked right down to the left side of the tracks and into the woods. We stood there for what seemed an eternity, you see we liked to dable in occultism then and we were scared. When we started walking again, when we got to the spot where he was, there was nothing there but we heard horses, so many horses gallopping in the woods, but there were no horses there. There was nothing. I never told anyone about this. UNTIL. One day, my daughter comes home, she was about 14 at the time and she was in the woods with her friend, by the same tracks, not in the same area, but same track line, maybe 2 miles away from where this happend to me as a kid. She came home and told me that there was a small man in the woods, she thought he was a kid at first, he was dressed in a black cloak. He said nothing to her.. I want to find him and ask him what he wanted with me.. I am not afraid of him yet I dont want to meet him alone.. I just want to know what he wanted from my life..


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